Free Agent Underground

Seeking a couple with kids to work with me

I really tried to think of a title that wouldn't be misleading, as I'm NOT looking to hire anyone. I'm looking for a couple of…couples…who want more for their lives and desire to pursue free agency in earnest. Couples who have (or will) sit down and get real with where they want to be in 5-years. And...who they want to be for their kids and the world. Couples who put 'leaving a legacy' and living a life of consequence ahead of getting a new leather couch.

*Also, couples with a couple grand, as that's how much it will cost, just to be fully open and up front at the outset.

Why a couple? The stakes are higher and urgent enough to make you do the work. 'Crap or get off the pot' so to speak.

I'm sure you've heard the quote, "If you want something done, ask a busy person." I think it's absolutely true. And couples with kids are busy. No time or money to waste. You gotta be efficient, get the most bang for your buck and get results...fast.

Most of my focus is on getting people to join Free Agent Academy and go through our online school and curriculum. From discovering your calling, to discovering your idea, to discovering your brand, to building your online storefront and launching, to having an abundant business and life!

Occasionally though, I like to work one-on-one with folks as well. I have a '90-Day MFA' (Master of Free Agency) program where I join you personally in our courses. Working directly with me can accelerate the process, thus the '90-Day' reference. But more important than the time, I get to join you and take you deeper. Especially in the areas of personal life that make or break this journey to successful free agency and lifestyle design.

My heart is ultimately for couples, as is my wife Teri's (you can read her amazing blog at www.StumblingAroundInTheLight.com). The family lifestyle is what we know. We know the struggles, the overwhelmedness, the yearning to do and be better and have more purpose and meaning…

So…if this is you, apply here. Let's see if you're ready and we're the right fit. This page will tell you a bit more about the process and the form to fill out is at the bottom of the page. Please though, only fill it out if you are honestly interested in doing this now, not far off in the future.
- 90-Day MFA with Kevin: Couples

I'll attempt to respond back to you within just a couple hours of your submission.

Kevin

P.S. This is my crew at Christmas 2010, the last decent all-family pic I have! Our oldest is 15, youngest is 15 months. We know family life, and we DON'T have it all under control! But, we live a very, very countercultural lifestyle. Teri and I are both home full-time, we have a growing business that pays our bills, the kids are homeschooled. It's not easy, but that's not the point, is it?! It's what we believe is best for our family. What lifestyle design and reality do you believe would truly be best for your family?

Self-employment & Marriage - Radio interview with Kevin & Teri Miller

Just over a week ago I was interviewed by a Michigan radio station on self-employment and marriage (thanks to Jeff Beebe). They requested that my wife Teri join me, which was a great honor to me.

The interview is about 50 minutes total, and was live and fully candid. Sharing some of our trials helps us redeem some hard time as I went about self-employment in some unwise ways.

My hope is that it helps you pursue or continue on in free agency with a stronger union in your marriage relationships.

I know both sides...having lost my wife's faith no even a decade ago, and today having her as my number one supporter, encourager and cheerleader.

 

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Free Agent Underground Show - "Self-employment & Marriage - Radio interview with Kevin & Teri Miller"

 

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Self-employment's affect on family, with Meg Hirshberg

Meg Hirshberg is a leading writer on self-employment and family. She writes candidly for INC magazine about her experience and learnings as wife to Gary Hirshberg, founder and President of Stonyfield Yogurt, now the world's largest organic yogurt company. Her book comes out in 2012 and she is a recognized speaker on work/life balance issues, particularly those that are of concern to entrepreneurs and their families.

Meg and Gary and their three children endured nearly a decade of hardship and near bankruptcy on the path to succeeding with Stonyfield. In this interview Meg discusses the necessity for having a mission at the heart of the endeavor, not defering and delaying life goals during the process, the temptation of distraction, and why today she's ultimately grateful they stuck it out. OH, and camel poop.

One of our live listeners sent this in immediately after the live show:

Hello Kevin,
I listened in on the program today and I have to say it was one of the best interviews I have ever heard on the Free Agent Underground. A lot of wisdom there - excellent, excellent stuff.
Thank you.
Michael

If you are self-employed (or intend to be) and married (or intend to be) this is a must-listen-to replay. Enjoy.

Connect with MEG:
- Meg's personal website
- Meg on FaceBook
- Stonyfield Yogurt

 

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No show today, give your time to your Love

I'm very serious. Our show normally goes for nearly an hour. There is nothing I can offer that will be more valuable than spending that hour thinking about and preparing blessing for your spouse or significant other. If you're single, spend it dwelling on the spouse you want to be and praying for the spouse you believe is in your future. Don't feel called to marriage? Then pray for some marriages that you know need help.

My entire focus of self-employment is based on my belief that it's THE best vehicle for a balanced life of freedom and purpose. And at the core are relationships.

So today…you, my cohost Chuck Bowen, myself…let's spend the time dwelling on Valentines…the celebration of intimate affection.

If you want to do anything here, give a quick comment on how you plan on honoring your Love. I'll be preparing some offerings of love for my Teri (pictured here), and prepping for a house full of couples for a big Valentines party at our place.

So, a toast to Love today,
Agent Kevin Miller

You'll have to sacrifice good for great

Your life has been going along and you've made it as GOOD as you've been able to, up to this point. Though if you were satisfied to just maintain status quo and coast till you die, you wouldn't be here.

You're reading this, because you desire better than just GOOD:

• If given the choice, do you want to see a GOOD movie, or a GREAT! movie?
• At Thanksgiving, was your goal to simply have a GOOD meal and a GOOD time, or did you cook and prepare (drive a long way) with the intent to have a GREAT! meal and a GREAT! visit with loved ones?
• When you hire someone to work on your house or car or teeth, are you hoping they do a GOOD job, or a GREAT! job?
• When you die are you hoping a few people will be at the funeral because you were a pretty GOOD person, or do you want the place full of people there who will sorely miss you because you were a GREAT! impact on their lives?

I have 7 children that will all grow up and probably become parents themselves, and when they realize the immense role that being a parent is, they'll fully be hit with who and what I was as a parent. If they deem I was just "pretty GOOD," I'll be devastated. I want to be GREAT! Not for me, it's what I owe them!

Thus I'm assuming you desire to do truly GREAT! things. To have work and a lifestyle and an impact on your friends, family and world that would be deemed in as GREAT! on many levels.

So your life. If you have a fairly GOOD pattern now, the only way to get to GREAT! is to give up some of the GOOD. Examples:

• Taking my kids to soccer and baseball and dance and every extracurricular activity thrust at them or that they are interested would entail some GOOD things for them. But giving up those GOOD things gives time for us to be together and build relationship and have experiences, teaching and training and loving that are GREAT!
• Same for me; volunteering with the church to feed the homeless, going to the couples dinner gathering, serving on the board of a non-profit…would all be GOOD things. But giving those up to create something from my heart that will inspire me, inspire others and serve humanity, is GREAT!
• Doing house maintenance, catching up on emails, de stressing with a movie, partaking in a hobby are all GOOD. Giving them up to consistently exercise and increase my vitality, energy and good health that will add on years to my life and increase my overall quality of life is GREAT!

Those are just a small sampling of my examples. For you, list out the many, many things that you see as GOOD in your life. Really, good things. Nice things. Fairly worthy things. You will have to let some of them go for the sake of creating and building something truly…GREAT!

I see folks everyday who continually put off the GREAT! things they feel in their heart, as they can't find time amongst all the GOOD. I naturally do it too. Even the GREAT! things I want to do, are hard. And my flesh will look everywhere for distractions and time goes by and…nothing. When I hunker down and discipline myself and shut out all the GOOD things, I create GREAT! things.

If I had to list out the GOOD things I gave up in order to build our dream house before we could afford it in any way, it would be a long list. If I had to list out all the GOOD things that I would have had if I'd taken a healthy 6-figure position with a marketing firm, instead of pursuing my heart into creating a business that is GREAT! in my life, my family's and according to my members and audience…to them, I'd be writing a long time.

It's hard, I understand. It was, and continues to be for me. As a husband, parent, business owner, speaker, leader, servant…

The GOOD things are easier. The GOOD view from my house takes me 2.5 minutes to walk to. The GREAT! view is a 20 minute, arduous run. A GOOD marriage in all honesty, would be so much easier. Striving for a great marriage with my Teri is dadgum hard. Risky, scary, painful. But what's the alternative? To give in to the resistance? Just settle for GOOD? That's not acceptable, even though this world is hell bent on enabling us and convincing us that GOOD…is GOOD enough. Being GREAT! is foolish. "Just stay on your couch and numb and medicate yourself by watching mere stories of greatness, as your soul yearns for GREAT!ness so badly you can't fully deny yourself of tasting it, even as a spectator.

Now the Lord said to Abram:
"I will make you a GREAT! nation; I will bless you and make your name GREAT!; And you shall be a blessing."
Genisis 12:2

Traditional employment will be easier. Paying your bills, building up some savings, buying a house…is GOOD. Discovering your heart, pouring yourself into what inspires you, creating wealth that you can give away and owning your work so you can direct your life will pay off in GREAT!, GREAT! things.

What GOOD things are keeping you from the GREAT! things gnawing at your soul? There will always be a reason to put if off. Are you putting off GREAT! things so you can have a GOOD Christmas? You'll have to start now if you're going to make it in time for Christmas 2011 to be…GREAT!

Don't wait. Let's go.

*I've lined up students for Jan/Feb/Mar in my '90-Day MFA' (Master of Free Agency) program, but still have openings for December. If not even Christmas shopping and stress and expenditures can come between you and starting your quest for GREAT!, you can apply here: 90-Day MFA info page  

 

Pictured above: The GREAT! Pike's Peak view from Manitou Lake during our morning walk at the Oct. 2010 Free Agent Academy Intensive event, taken by FAA Host, Alan Jackson.

Free Agent Underground Show: "Nearly wrecking my marriage"

This was not what I intended to come from the interview on my personal free agent journey…but it's what Justin pulled out of me. I got a flood of feedback on it. Not just from the audience to the live CoachRadio.TV audience, but from folks who found it through Facebook (connect w/me) and Twitter (connect w/me) and Justin's website.

So I'm taking that as evidence that…it matters. Thus I'm posting it here for you.

Justin Lukasavige hosts CoachRadio.TV  and in a series called "Your Story" he interviewed me about my journey as a free agent. We covered multiple issues, but what seemed to hit home for most folks was me discussing how my past, unbridled risk with business ideas along with some bad faith theology completely wrecked my finances and even more importantly…my marriage.

I can say I've gone from nearly burning my wife (Teri) off…to having her as my greatest supporter, encourager and believer today. Lately I feel she believes in me even more than I do. And folks…I can not even begin to tell you how massively joyful and empowering that is.

Yesterday's blog "Don't be Dilbert" discussed the realities of how we as a society have settled for less in our work life…how we've let punching a clock that we hate…become our priority and our God. As opposed to wrapping our work around a life and calling we believe in.

This then I guess…covers how so many marriage either come to an end…or go forward settling for less. When on the other hand you can commit and do whatever it takes to not only salvage it…but resurrect and build something of utmost power and worth…a real union.

I can tell you this…if you are married and desiring a free agent life of self-employment and owning your time and priorities and really scheduling your work around your life…there is flat-out no ingredient more foundational than being on the same page, side-by-side and looking forward toward a consequential life…with your spouse.

And I must add a public call-out to my wife Teri. A person who continues to amaze and inspire me…ever more each day. My best friend who I respect more than anyone on the planet. Her devotion to doing life better…I'll NEVER take for granted. She is absolutely God's greatest tool in my life for shaping me into something of value. And to top it off with the fact that she's gorgeous just proves God's ultimate grace and care for me…no way I deserve that. He was just showing off like He did when he turned water into wine...

*NOTE: as she can fit it in between 7 kids and an immensely full life…she has been privately blogging. When she's ready to go live…I'll let you know. We may find out I'm just the opening act for her. She writes and relates about life and relationships and faith and being 'real' in a way that is beyond my abilities.

I'm posting the interview below so it will upload to the Free Agent Underground blog, but you can go straight to it at CoachRadio.TV here:
- http://www.coachradio.tv/05-coach-radio-your-story-kevin-miller

---

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LIve Show Today: "Marital Unity & The Pursuit of Free Agency"

Today I'm joined by my wife and my love...Teri for a live show. It's our weekly Free Agent Academy member class, but I'm opening it up to my subscriber list...and if you know someone who would benefit from the topic, you are welcome to invite them to attend:

Show: "Marital Unity & The Pursuit of Free Agency"
Date: Nov. 12, 2009
Time: 1PM Pacific / 2PM Mountain / 3PM Central / 4PM Eastern
Tune In: Right down below. At showtime the screen below will go live, as will the chat box below it.
Call In: You can listen in via phone here: 719-313-5790 | Use Conf ID: 66576#
Q&A: Priority questions will be from our Free Agent Academy members, but if you post in the chat box we'll do our best to get to you as well.
Replay: If you can't make it, I'll post the replay right here after the show.

Many of you know Teri, and have experienced her to be an amazingly caring, encouraging and...understanding soul. She turn 40 today! (send her a well wish on Facebook). Teri has been through some of the worst...and best...as spouse to a self-employed, Free Agent radical, and she'll tell it like it is.

If you are pursuing or engaged in Free Agency and married (or expect to be), PLEASE realize that many great people, ideas and businesses have gone down in flames as a result of one thing...relational strife along the way with those you love.

As a primer, make sure you read the previous two posts and the comments as well:
#1 My spouse is sabotaging my efforts to pursue self-employment
#2 How to be together in your marriage as you pursue Free Agency

- Download the complete Audio here Streaming .TV shows by Ustream

How to be together in your marriage as you pursue Free Agency

 
*In reading of this, you might think of someone who needs to hear it.
Be brave. Take a risk. Forward it to them.

OK, in the previous writing I established that the first key to successfully pursuing self-employment with your spouse is to be in union in the endeavor. To be together. So how do you do that? Especially if it's the man leading the effort, desiring significance (trust), whilst threatening the woman's security (protection)? Or when one is good with risk, and the other is not? Sometimes the woman is the risk taker.

#1 Be In True Support of Each Other
Many of you responded with appreciation that I was sharing my own story. So to continue...Teri said "Yes" and came with me on my early endeavors, but she was just following and 'trying' to be in harmony. That's a world of difference from today where she is authentically supportive and alongside me in the journey. But it starts with being together and supportive in your marriage in general.

If you are not truly 'together' in your marriage, this is probably a poor time to pursue self-employment ...or any new journey. I paint with a broad brush, there may be some rare cases where that's an exception, but overall, I'm sticking to this. Seriously, a marriage is about two-becoming-one. In pursuing self-employment and your calling, you need to be mutually supportive of each other. Meaning that overall, you have each other's best interests in mind.

I had a friend with a high-profile corporate job...that he hated. Felt it was killing him. He had some ideas that were a good fit and he had some margin to pursue them. But when it came down to going forward, his wife ultimately let it be known that she was more interested in him bringing home the bacon (and lots of it) than pursuing anything that might rock the boat. In this case he was merely reaping what he'd sown. Too many years with work as his God and priority, he'd lost relationship with his family and at that point was only good to them as a cash cow. His wife didn't care for his personal well-being because aside from providing money, he hadn't cared for her.

Takeaway: If you aren't together with your spouse today...in general and overall, set any endeavor aside and pursue that first. Get marriage counseling (we have...many times!), get help, pursue your spouse, etc...  Otherwise it all breaks down.

#2 Your Spouse IS With You Overall, But Not Supportive of this Self-Employment Endeavor
If this is the case, it's probably the result of one or both of these issues:

a) You haven't explained the purpose & benefits of your endeavor. Things like:
- Calling: You have realized that you were made for a specific purpose, and to participate in that purpose you need to fully engage in it.
- There Is More Of You: You realize that you are slowly dying in your meaningless job and that if you can earn money in work you love or work you hate, why would you choose the latter?  Further, when you spend the majority of your time doing something meaningless or you hate, you are not functioning on all cylinders. Those you love are getting robbed of the full YOU. Your spouse probably doesn't know (or remember) what you are like when you are passionate and joyful about life. You may not either. If you find out that when it comes down to it, your spouse would rather have you keep a job than pursue something more meaningful...then go back up to #1 cause it ain't happenin'.
- True Security: While most folks still think of a traditional j-o-b as 'secure' it no longer is. Anyone can lose their job in a heartbeat, regardless of their performance. While your local plumber who owns his work can't be fired.
- Increased Income: Read the old "Millionaire Next Door" book. The facts...the vast majority of millionaires are self-employed. That's just the statistical truth. Many surveys have been done; folks who are passionate about their work make far more than those who punch a time sheet. A little known reality, but it's the truth.
- Inheritance and legacy: This is a forgotten goal in our world, especially America. You do your job and hope to retire with enough money to coast into boredom and death before the last penny is gone. Your kids get to divvy up your few assets and maybe get a car or go on a nice vacation with the little money they get. Pretty paltry. I want to leave behind some value from all those years of toil. Financially, yes..but also a legacy of living a life of purpose, serving folks with the calling God placed in me, being fully alive for my family...
- Time: Just today a lady twittered me saying she was so impressed that I had soon-to-be 7 kids and found time to be self-employed. I replied with..."It's because I'm self-employed that I have 7 kids!" They need their parents. I dictate my time. I'm always available to be Daddy. And my marriage would not be where it is if I didn't have the time to put in to it. Nor would I be able to invest in the lives of friends. Employers are concerned with your results at work, not your success at home.

b) You don't have a reasonable plan in place
I actually had a) (above) pretty well with Teri. I was always a passionate guy seeking to do meaningful work and I was fanatically dedicated to my family. I however, never had a plan other than "I'm shootin' for the stars and we'll at least get...outta the back yard!" And with the lack of a plan, we sometimes ended up not only missing the back yard, but going backward, imploding, and landing in the basement. Even in one business that was shaping up to be a great success, if I would have planned I could have come to the point of realizing that...I didn't really care about it. Instead, I arrived at that point and then quit, right when the going had gotten good financially.

I nearly killed my marriage due to lack of planning in my work.

My great friend and partner Chuck Bowen is a classic entrepreneur in most senses, except for the planning part. He can plan. His quote is "If we can work it out on paper, we can work it out in real life." I'm incapable of doing this, just as I'm nearly incapable of balancing a checking account. So I have to get help (from Chuck specifically). But if you could sit down with your spouse and lay out a plan that...while not doing away with risk...showed aspects of forethought, reality & validity (i.e. probability)...WOW! Different world.

AND...one in a million.

This is why there are such crappy stats on biz start up success. People don't count the costs and test the waters. Sit me down with 10 folks who have an idea and a dream and give me a 3 minute pitch on the what and how of their idea. To one of them I'll say, "YES!"  The other nine..."NO WAY!" Instead, those ten just go after it with no relevant plan or wise counsel, and nine of them crash and burn. The silver lining though, is that out of those nine, the "no way" is followed by, "not in the way you are describing, but let's figure out how it COULD work." if they'd get counsel and a plan, most of them would succeed. Not all...but most.

And the planning must hit the highlights of finances and time, those are the big dogs. How much will it cost, how and when will it make money, how much and when will this happen?

So now, look back at your dealings with your spouse. Are you really together in your marriage? Then, are you together on the benefits and fruits of this self-employment pursuit? Then, do you have any semblance of a reasonable plan? Not just one you whipped together, but one that has been tested by others who have gone before you?

Last, have you sifted the idea and plan through much counsel? Not from nay-sayers and critics, but those who have succeeded in self-employment. The ones who on one hand will tell you the hard stuff straight up, then on the other hand, will invest in you to tell you HOW it could work? Shameless plug, this is the greatest asset of Free Agent Academy membership.

Ultimately, when counseling self-employed folks, I make it personal; "Would I...Kevin Miller...be confident enough in their plan, that I would feel comfortable going out and selling their product or service with my own family's provision on the line?

If I, or someone who was already successfully self-employed, looked at your plan and said yes to that perspective, would it give your spouse more confidence? Wouldn't it give YOU more confidence?

Finally, most of you are reading this because you have a pain and a desire. A great friend of mine, just yesterday, decided to pursue what he believes is his calling. And he said, "I realized I had to, or I'd suffocate." Many of you are suffocating. Some of you are nearly dead. That's the pain. But some are fueled by desire and you can taste the free air and are about to come out of your skin.

If this strikes a chord, comment below. If you get it, but you're not exactly sure what the next step should be, leave a question in the comment area below and we'll discuss it together. If it's more sensitive than you are comfortable with sharing publicly, email me at kevin@freeagentacademy.com and I'll get with you as soon as I can.

As my friend West Conner wrote in yesterday, "So it takes two years to become a free agent instead of one? So what. Is being a free agent and working for yourself and enjoying "work" going to be worth living in an empty house because you lost your family in the process? It isn't for me. Slow down if you are having problems. Pay attention to what is important first."

Being successfully self-employed and passionately engaged in your work will foster you being a far greater spouse and parent. It won't happen overnight, and it needs to be done...together.

*Picture: My bride and me. Just a great analogy there...when I support her well, she is by my side, her heart pressed close, tucked securely in my arms, and we both are the better for it.

My spouse is sabotaging my efforts to pursue self-employment

*I used the above title because it's at the heart of what I hear from most people

For me to adequately address this gargantuan topic, and to do it as concisely as possible...is probably NOT possible. So I'll do my best to hit the high points that will hopefully offer some insight and aid. And I really don't know how to do it without just telling some of my personal story, or without talking about the makeup of marriage as a whole.

First I should probably share the perspective I come from:

• I'm 38 years old
• I've been self-employed all but two years of my life
• I've been married for 16 years and am about to have my 7th kid
• We escaped bankruptcy, but I've had IRS debt, $50k of credit card debt, bank debt and personal loan debts as a result of business endeavors
• In the Spring of 2003 my wife was overcome with stress and insecurity from all the financial and emotional upheaval I'd put us through, and had it in her mind that she'd pack up the kids and leave, at least till I made a change
• In the Summer of 2003, I made a change. I quit everything, took a 'stable' independent contractor job, and we moved west

All that to say, I've pretty much done the worst things you can do in pursuing self-employment while having the responsibility to support a family. So as usual, I come with wisdom from the school of hard-knocks, stupidity, bad judgment and ignorance.

But I have changed a lot. And you probably have too as well. Having a good marriage isn't something we just naturally get. And it doesn't become good...or great, organically.

Obviously I come at this as a man, and my spouse as a woman.  So in that dynamic, men typically receive love in the form of 'significance.' We want to be trusted and respected and applauded by our spouse. Women generally receive love in the form of 'security.' They want to feel protected and cherished and cared for.

So to the men reading this, we have to realize that when we risk the finances with entrepreneurial dreams, we want our wives to support us with trust (significance), even as we are threatening their protection (security). That's really elementary, but it's so stereotypical. We want the other to give us what we want/need while we are simultaneously taking away what they want/need. That's a hard row to hoe.

For those striving solopreneurs reading this who are women, if you are relied upon to bring in revenue and your endeavor is threatening this, even though security may not be #1 for guys, it still matters. Further, if the bulk of the attention is focused on you or you end up becoming the primary or sole bread earner, these can also threaten a man's security. I know some have found harmony in the woman being the financial provider, I'm not debating that here, just trying to address realities and generalities.

Second, the entire point of marriage is to be 'one.' Yes, we are still individuals, but we live in union. In marriage we give up our right to proceed solo and one-mindedly. Few today realize this, but it's the truth. And for you guys who believe in man as the 'head' of the household (as I do), that is subject to loving your wife 'as Christ loved the Church.' Which was...by serving her, sacrificially. Dying for her. If you are not doing that correctly, then you are a head with no body. I doubt you are enjoying yourself much.

Which brings us to the climax...being in union. Got that primary point??

Now, just getting agreement from your spouse does not count. I am a persuader. Literally, my personality profile comes back and says 'Persuader.' And my spouse really desires to be in harmony. And I played the "But you SAAAIIID 'Yes?!" card. And she did...in an effort to be in agreement with me...and wanting to believe in me. But my path was against her better judgment, and I should have been humble with her instead of just wildly expectant and exuberant and...persuasive. And maybe even pushy.

NOTE: Another way to check yourself is to seek counsel elsewhere. Though I got my wife to agree, if I'd really opened up to others that cared for me, they would have cautioned me.

But how do you come to union and agreement when it's risky and your spouse just isn't a risk taker? And we have this bad ying and yang pulling against each other?

I'll leave that for part two, as what's been given above should foster enough thought and commentary and possibly criticism for this entry alone.

Many of you will be OK with all this...I promise, tomorrow I'll hit the deeper issues. One of which is why you do have the right to pursue self-employment. It has a bigggg BUTTT though.

And please, write what you think here! You will probably speak for and bless 20 other readers who are thinking or wondering the same thing. So you'll serve us all. I always learn something new from the comments. And you surely won't offend me, so don't worry about that.

Tomorrow...Part 2.

Picture: Myself and my wife Teri just two years ago, laying down the first piece of wood on our custom house here in Colorado. Together. We're always a work-in-progress, but it's a long way forward from four short years before with nothing but debt and heartache.

Sell your idea before you create it

The story goes like this...Joe Karbo wrote a killer ad for a book titled "The Lazy Man's Way To Riches." He placed it in the classifieds and got a big response! So...he then went and wrote the book. He actually had to refund money to the initial purchasers because he didn't have the book to deliver.

But how amazing...he knew he could sell it! How would that change your mindset in putting your product or service idea together? How would your spouse feel if you first proved there was a need and people confirmed they'd spend money on what you were offering? How would you view start up costs?

There is a lumber mill in my area that sells hand peeled aspen logs, 8' long by 6" diameter, for $35. I own an aspen grove with aspens almost 24" in diameter and 50' long. So I set my 14 year old son to work on hand peeling them so he could sell them. I decided to have him chip in for the cost of a $60 sander to use on them. Then my wife stopped us. She said, "Hey, before we have Caleb fork over money on tools for this little business, why don't we list the logs on craigslist and see if there is a real market for them first?"

Rule number 1 - marry someone really smart.

Rule number 1.5 - marry someone really good looking, it will help temper your ego flare ups when you get one-upped by them...

Rule number 2 - find buyers for your idea before you spend any time or money on it

The bad stats on business start-up failure are full of people who massively devoted themselves to developing ideas that they thought were great, only to fail in selling them later.

So got an idea for a product or service? Research where and how it's being sold now. Figure out how you can set yourself apart to offer it differently, better, tweaked for a niche. If it doesn't exist, find out why. Make sure it's a void that folks want to fill, instead of a void that is there because nobody really cares.

Create a compelling brand name and maybe even an electronic graphic of the product or service.

Then...find a channel to test market it in. Did you know there are people who devote themselves to creating products solely for Wal-Mart to hopefully take interest in, order and distribute?

We should all approach our businesses like that. Put a skeleton to  your idea and then go to work test marketing that idea.

Example: A long time ago while in conversation with my Dad and some other family members...while criticizing some rules, the quote was thrown out, "Rules are only guidelines for incompetent people." Not sure if my Dad actually quoted it, or if it was a group effort. But I think that's a hilarious quote and would make a great t-shirt. That's the first of many family quotes I have written down that I think would sell on t-shirts well, though would probably decrease the number of people who actually like us.

Normally, someone wold take an idea like that, spend copious amounts of time researching t-shirt manufacturers, printers, work on a website, and many months and dollars later be looking for that first sale.

And it doesn't happen. And your friends and family roll their eyes. It happens every minute.

However, in this little t-shirt example, you could use Microsoft Word...wait...I'll do it now and time myself. OK, took me 6-minutes flat to make this graphic in Word. And I'm graphically challenged. Now we take it and find a market. eBay we could try. But even better, I'm looking for a big audience that enjoys contrarian views. There are many. Now go pitch the shirt to them. Check with a local retailer. We could make a list of places and entities and research the viability.

If we can't find interest in our little idea (like my t-shirt that I think is funny) then we haven't invested too much and we can go on to something else. Chances are we'll have learned during the process, and probably come up with other ideas. Or in the process, had another opportunity open up to us. All positive things and far better than "building it...and they DON'T come."

Go find buyers and promoters for your product or service idea first. THEN build it.